The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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