Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize
