If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
