please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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