how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
