My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
He taught me where the gears in a five speed are with his penis.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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