You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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