So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Its so hard looking at my mom and pretending I'm not dying a slow death of binge drinking
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
Randomize
