i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and i looked up. we had an audience...
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize