my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I could make wine with my vomit
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I want to be your penis for a week.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Randomize