Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Randomize
