I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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