We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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