Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I need to align my fucking chakras
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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