just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
