I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
