i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
