Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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