Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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