No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
he told me my vagina needed a tic tac
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
