Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
So stoned i forgot i was in bed
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Randomize
