one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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