She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Well, I'm off to go seduce a gay man. In 10 years when I'm 300 pounds, sitting in a mumu surrounded by my 500 cats, remind me of this text. That way I can be like "ohhh THERE'S where I went wrong!!"
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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