cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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