i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
