Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I woke up this morning to pee and six dollar bills fell out of my underwear. I guess that lap dance just bought me lunch.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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