New invention idea: vibrating tampons
omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
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