I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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