You work out of a Hotel?
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
