I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Go to hungover. Go directly to hungover. Do not pass go. Do not collect 200 dollars
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
