I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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