I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
