I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
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