Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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