He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I just overheard this sorority girl saying "It's like trick or treting but for alcohol and with no costumes." I'm jealous.
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
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