So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
Randomize