We named our party play list daddy issues
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
Apparently I'm ahead in the foot race to his dick because I'm not insane. If I'd have known that's all it took, I'd have worn sweat pants more often.
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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