omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i have one question about last night
if this is about your fridge being filled with hotdogs, sour cream, and PB&J open-faced sandwiches, i can explain
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
