Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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