i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize