I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
Randomize
