Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Randomize
