I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
