That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
