I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Randomize
