Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Randomize
