You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
operation have a gay friend backfired
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Omg I should get on tinder just to get some edibles in town
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
