i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
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