Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
