you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I want to have sex with Will Smith. I guess I have a thing with 90s sitcom stars. Stamos, Joey Lawrence, John Goodman.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
