i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
that is very illegal...i love you.
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
