I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Let's play a little game of "Last Night Never Happened"
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
