I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Bathtub drinking tim. I have no pool so I work with what I have
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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