My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
Randomize
