im gay
i know
yea but for you.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
and you fell through a lawn chair
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
