This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
