she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
Randomize
