I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
That's the ultimate walk-of-shame: running away from your own apartment and hiding in a McDonald's.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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