I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
