Apparently you make a good broom.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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