Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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